a new purse and other coping mechanisms

I got a new purse.

This is significant because I am not, generally speaking, a purse collector. I mean, that’s not entirely true since I have a small vintage beaded purse collection, and a small collection of evening handbags, but I don’t have a variety of everyday purses. I get one, and I stick with it until it dies. Years, usually. My current bag, a very nice deep red Nine West, is starting to crack and is showing signs of potato-sackness (where it has no structure and basically looks like a red potato sack). So. It was time for something new.

I’ve had burnt-orange or red purses for the past 6 years at least. So I went with yellow this time. I like colored purses. Brown and black are so boring, and it seems like no matter which one you go with, it never works with everything (since you don’t want to wear the brown with black, and vice versa..). I am hoping this yellow is a good “new neutral.” It’s making me happy for now, at least.

It has been a rough couple of weeks, but not *overtly* rough. Just subtly. Work has been stressful and I’m feeling burned out. This happens every so often, I know, and I’m just in that part of the cycle right now. I am trying to figure out how to cope with the work burnout and general funk I’ve been in lately. I am feeling like I need to DO MORE and BE MORE but honestly I really just feel like being at home, but with some company. I live kind of far out so I don’t get company very often and to tell the truth, I’m getting a little lonely. But I also know it’s good for me to be by myself right now. It’s a paradox.

It’s not so much “getting over the breakup” at this point — it’s more that I’m in the process of rebuilding my life and it’s a little confusing and overwhelming at times. I hadn’t realized how much of myself I’d lost, how much I’d given up, how much this other force had completely taken over. Sometimes I feel like a fool; other times I’m amazed that I got through it as well as I did. I’m just glad I get to rebuild now.

My beloved Aunt L. is coming to see me this Saturday, and then another friend is coming over on Sunday. Oh, and I am going to see a play on Friday. And I have lots of things to do: gardening, designing invitations for my brother’s wedding, continuing to get the house all in order and work on sorting the garage, etc. So I guess I’m doing plenty; I’m just not in my art room working diligently on my latest masterpiece, nor am I out on the town making tons of new friends and tearing up the dance floor. I don’t know why I feel like those are the things I “should” be doing. I need to forget the ‘shoulds’ and just do what I feel like doing.

Which is, currently: eating bagels, baking, putting the house in order, going thrift shopping, gardening, reading, watching Sex and The City (although I can only take one or two episodes at a time), exploring new local places. I went out to breakfast last weekend and forgot my camera! Dammit! I’ll have to go out again this weekend.

I’d like to add in: wildflower hikes, a trip to the beach, bike rides, maybe a class. Maybe I should take a once-a-week art class or something, since I can’t seem to get motivated to do it by myself, and I would like to meet some people.

Anyway. Current status: holding steady, in somewhat of a funk, ready for hammock weather and attempting to sort out exactly where I am in this process.

Maybe I should just go take a nap. Naps (along with purses) solve many things.

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8 thoughts on “a new purse and other coping mechanisms

  1. That purse is such a happy color it is sure to help cheer you up at least a little. Sounds like you are very busy. Hope you get a break at work soon. And yeah, get rid of all those shoulds, just do what you feel like doing :)

  2. love the purse. i love handbags with a lot of hardware.

    you shouldn’t feel like a fool for what happened in the past. you’d be a fool only if you didn’t learn from it.

    theres a lot in my past that i could sit around feeling foolish over. but we can’t get those years back, so what’s the point? onward and upward, i say!!

    • it’s a happy purse!

      Thanks for the nice words — and so true! Honestly I think I’d feel a ton better if I weren’t so burned out currently. Not sure what to do about that. Um… apply more cake?

  3. I think I need a new purse, too. I almost bought one last weekend – turquoise, with a D on it. I didn’t, then looked at it again the other night and it was a totally different colour than I thought it was and I was glad I hadn’t bought it. Sometimes a good impulse buy is just what you need. Other times, not.

    I did get new jeans, though. Hurray for jeans that actually fit and aren’t mom jeans!

      • so the other day i was at goodwill and i found a pair of gap jeans that i absolutely love. the style was not the one i normally would wear so i tried them on and i *thought* they looked pretty good so i bought them.

        fast forward to later in the week, i catch a look at my butt in the mirror as I’m making the bed. ACK. they are MOM JEANS! there is something weird about the waist and they come up just a bit too high so the butt/waist area is not very flattering.

        fortunately, i wear a lot of tunics/short dresses over jeans at work, so i can still wear them, just not with everything. damn you mom jeans!!!

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