stuff i’m thinking about

  • I should take some photos of the house as it is now. It’s half-empty, but full of possibilities. 
  • Reading The Happiness Project. I like it enough to keep reading it, but finding it also sort of annoying. Still, thought-provoking and encouraging me to do kind things for other people. 
  • Speaking of that, this morning I went to the gas station. As my car was filling, I went inside to get a cup of coffee. The attendant behind the register and a man in roadwork-orange were talking in Spanish. I don’t speak or understand Spanish. Anyway, when he started to walk away, I went up with my cup of coffee to pay for it. Huge surprise for me: the orange-clad man had already paid for it! I thanked him profusely and he just gave me a big smile, then hopped on his bicycle and rode, I presume, to work. I hereby resolve that everytime I am at that gas station buying coffee, if there is someone in line behind me with a cup, I’ll pay for their drink. Especially if they are wearing hard-working clothes and are riding a bicycle. 
  • I had a moment this weekend where I stood outside in the backyard watering the garden, and was happy. Totally happy. For about two minutes, I felt like beaming, like dancing. So I did — I put down the hose, scandalized my cat, and danced around like an idiot. Because I was happy. Because I’d forgotten what it felt like to be actually happy for no particular reason. Because the sky was blue and it was 75 degrees and perfect and I’d just gone for a nice walk and the garden is growing and I couldn’t think of anything to worry about at that particular moment (although I didn’t try very hard, it’s true). It was nice. I’d like more of that, please, thank you. 
  • My cat Thomas is the best kitty. I won’t say “ever” because I’ve had some pretty great cats, but he’s pretty terrific. Right now he’s the best. He keeps me company in the half-empty house and makes me laugh and snuggles up tight at night. He literally snuggles up. It’s pretty adorable. 
  • Noticing more signs of recovery: my shoulders are not up near my ears anymore. My neck doesn’t hurt constantly. I have plenty to worry about of course but am really trying not to worry about anything if it’s not right in front of me. This is really good practice and not particularly easy, but I am trying to make up for years of stress. 
  • I need to sleep a lot still. At least 8 hours, if not 9. This seems incredible to me but apparently I am still (still!) rebuilding. People. Do not let your stress get out of hand like this. If you can help it. Sometimes you can’t. 
  • Overall, life is good. Really good. I’m happier in larger increments every week. Had a week or two of bad juju a couple weeks ago, but am now feeling much better. Books help. Friends help. Kitties help. 
Photos this weekend. Of house, garden, treasures from Dad’s attic!

14 thoughts on “stuff i’m thinking about

  1. Oh Daph, what a wonderful post! How so utterly kind of the man at the gas station to buy your coffee. Yay for kitties and gardens and moments of happiness!

  2. im so glad you’re at the point where you can dance around for no reason.

    and doesn’t it feel amazing when you’re on the receiving end of those kind little moments from strangers. anytime i hear/read about one I’m always reminded to ‘pay it forward’ whenever i can.

  3. :D This post is so full of happy!!!! I love the picture of you dancing around your backyard. And I think the idea of paying for someone else’s coffee is just so sweet :) And I just may do that myself one day! Also, I love that you’re looking at your house as full of possibilities instead of half empty :) That’s such an exciting way to look at things!

    • I highly recommend the coffe-buying experience. The joy produced by a $1.75 cup of coffee was worth way more than $1.75. I’ll post pictures of my possibility-house this weekend…

  4. I’m happy for your happily realized happy moment! That happened to me once when I was cutting up cold potatoes for potato salad. There must be something special to learn from those times when awareness of emotion and emotion converge so comfortably

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