lately

Oh, July. Wow, it is flying by in a huge rush. I will be leaving again soon for my brother’s wedding, and so there’s been a mild flurry of last-minute activity on that front. It’s been very fun to get to help with invitation and wedding stationery needs (menu, program, etc.) Sometimes that graphic design degree comes in handy… And I’m working on a Super Sekrit project that I MUST get done this weekend.

Thomas recovered from his adventure, only to go on another adventure to the vet on Monday. Time for vaccines and to get microchipped. He is always such a good kitty at the vet (although the car ride completely stresses him out). Unfortunately the vaccines made him extremely lethargic, so for the past two days I’ve been worrying over him. Thankfully, today when I came home I first noticed that all of his food was gone (which hasn’t been the case for quite a few days) and then he came sauntering out, not exactly frisky, but certainly looking more like himself. Which is good on many counts, particularly because he needs to be healthy while I’m gone!

On the book front, I’ve been reading all of the L. Frank Baum “Oz” books on my Kindle. I read most of these when I was a kid — our library had a terrific collection of them, all very old, with big thick covers and wonderful illustrations. I haven’t read them since, but all of the amazing characters are coming right back to me. I think these books are brilliant and my brother and I both absolutely adore them. They’re free on the Kindle and I thought since I finally finished all the March sister books (Little Women, Little Men, Jo’s Boys) I’d move on to these. They really don’t make children’s novels like this anymore — the crazy imagination, both innocent and yet fraught with real danger. The lovely language and careful attention to description. I just love them.

I’m also reading The Family Fang for bookclub — it’s pretty terrific so far. I can’t wait to talk about it. My reading this year has been really bad, but part of that is because for the first 2-3 months of it, I was half paralyzed and could hardly read anything. Oh well.

Life’s pretty good. I’ve been having a hard time sleeping lately — not sure what is up with that. Spending time with friends as I can — I still have no friends out here, but I’ve managed to wheedle some friends out here for visits. Enjoying gardening, trying to stay present in the moment as much as I can. The T. stuff still comes up and trips me sometimes — I’m getting lots better at deflecting the guilt and responsible feelings, but they still get me. Thankfully I have some wonderful friends and guides to help me when I lose perspective.

I’ve come so far from that cold and bleak November last year. I’m actually often actively happy now! My stress level has diminished dramatically. I still find myself wondering what to do with myself half the time, but that’s okay. I’m doing what I feel like doing, when I feel like doing it, and really not trying to push any further than that. I’ve sort of decided to give myself a year (give or take) to get over the physical and emotional stress of everything, before deciding What’s Next for myself. There are some awfully nice possibilities, but for now I’m trying to just keep my goals small:

  • keep the yard somewhat under control.
  • keep the house clean (ish).
  • feed myself well.
  • keep myself and the kitty healthy.
  • do what I want to do, and don’t do what I don’t want to do.
  • make small improvements as I see them (to self and property).
  • don’t worry.

That last one takes some getting used to, but I’m working on it. Actually that’s a pretty good list for anytime.

It’s not perfect, but overall things are really good, with some genuinely wonderful parts. I’m so grateful that I get to experience those again. It’s pretty much a miracle that I get to have this second chance at life. I hate to characterize the last few years as anything other than “just doing what needed to be done, and with love” which it certainly was, but it was also pretty hard on this here girl. I can take care of myself now, and that’s really good.

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14 thoughts on “lately

  1. I think your list is perfect for me too, for all the time! never mind coming off a crisis……I would add that I’d like to see you painting or crafting again, because then I would know you really are in a fully good way again. Plus I want to see more owl things from you, selfish I know, but you know if I’d lived closer I’d have bought them all! I am really glad that you are feeling more calmer and kind find beauty again in life. *hugs* from Canada.

  2. Those sound like fanastic goals for yourself :)I hope everything continues to look up for you dear because you certainly deserve it!! I gave Matt the first Oz book as part of his bday and started reading it. I had never read them before. What struck me was how depressed Dorothy’s aunt and uncle were! LOL..I really do want to read those books

  3. Same lethargy thing happens to my cat with shots, also topical flea treatment like Frontline, makes me so sad for him, since technically his feeling sicky is my fault (even though he feels even worse when tormented by fleas and would feel much, much worse if he got feline leukemia). Your post reminded me he’s just about due for his shots, though so far he’s gotten by okay this summer without the flea stuff, knock on wood.

    I agree with you about Family Fang being pretty terrific, I read it just last month! I was inspired enough that I even started a book blog post about it . . . just not inspired enough to finish the post, apparently. I look forward to your thoughts!

  4. Hooray! So glad things are going well for you these days. It makes me happy just to hear that you are well. Vaccinations make my kitties lethargic too and they are due to get some soon, just have to make the appointment. Mine don’t like the car either.

  5. Hmmm, I hadn’t heard of The Family Fang so I look forward to your review. My summer reading has been pretty dismal but I just finished The Time Traveler’s Wife being that I probably was the last person on the planet who hadn’t read it. It was lovely.

  6. I’m so glad to hear that you are doing well and that you are becoming happy once again. I say “good for you!” and sincerely mean it.

    I’ve never read the Oz books but would like to do so sometime. I’m not entirely certain that, as a child, I even knew the movie(s) were based on books.

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