Ok, enough with the complaining.
Last night I had a full-on anxiety fest. (it was a quiet freakout, mostly me just going to bed early, freaking out in my head while trying to read, getting up to mangle a Shel Silverstein poem, then laying awake for hours. Fun!) According to my brain, I was about to be fired, moving was a disastrous idea, the future is bleak, I’m a terrible friend, sister, daughter, wife… you know the drill. No particular reason, just my brain deciding things were a little too boring, you know? Why not inject a freakout into the mix?
Today, for whatever reason, I feel much better. Work is fine, the future is bright, everything is fine. Thanks, brain! I may consider cutting out coffee (except for the weekends) for the remainder of this journey… just saying.
So, instead of freaking out and complaining about my overwhelm, let’s look at the good things ahead, shall we?
- We are moving to the new house at the peak of Oregon beauty — it’s getting warmer, things are brilliantly green, flowers are blooming, birds are chirping, it stays light long into the evening. The new house has a large “meadow” surrounded by trees and blooming plants and lots of places to tuck a swinging bench or hammock for a lazy read in the shade, no neighbors to spy on you, and a large covered back porch to cozy up on. I am putting out to the universe that I would like a large outdoor-furniture couch, good for reading and lounging, to appear on Craigslist right when we settle in, for cheap (possibly a student clearing out at the end of the school year?). Thanks in advance!
- The new house may be short(er) on closet space, but the rooms are large and airy with tons of windows (and lots of beauty outside those windows). Storage is always a challenge and there are always solutions. I am hereby not thinking about this anymore until I see what exactly we need to solve — and focusing instead on being excited about the possibilities.
- We will be turning the one-car garage into Keith’s art studio and a laundry room… this will likely be done in several stages, the initial stage just getting it habitable so Keith can move his stuff in there. From there… who knows! I have ideas for a pretty laundry room nook, and am excited for Keith to have his own space to spread out.
- Similarly, I am excited about my new office and the guest room — there is room in the guest room for a sewing table or other craft space, and my office will be in the current “yoga studio” — tons of windows, beautiful light, a beautiful wood floor, similar space to my current office (which is too large for my needs) but a better layout (cozier).
- And on the smaller scale, I am excited about the kitchen bay window over the sink. I have ALWAYS wanted one of these, to fill with plants and herbs and pretty little things. I am super excited about this.
And in the bigger picture (not just the house), things are fine — better than fine. Life is good. I need to pay less attention to the news, drink less caffeine, shorten my vision to just what’s in front of me (I am notorious for planning WAY ahead and problem-solving things that are not yet a problem, and just be here now.
Maybe my anxiety-attack was my brain’s way of kicking me into shifting gears. In which case, thank you, brain. I think we can do this thing now!