full circle

(this isn’t what you’re thinking it’s going to be about)

Last Thursday, I completed a life-cycle circle.

If you’ve been following this blog for awhile, you know that I have many sides to my personality. There’s the reader. The gardener. The pet-lover. The tender-hearted do-gooder. The artist.

And then, there’s the girl who still kind of loves (occasionally) to rock out. She listens to Metallica while painting those owls. She devours books by Nikki Sixx. I’ve read The Heroin Diaries and The Dirt (by all the Motley Crue band members). While I would never, ever be a groupie, I definitely have a not-so-secret alter-ego who adores all that trashy stuff.

So Thursday, I decided it was time to complete the cycle.
And go see Motley Crue in concert.

Oh, the spectacle of it all.


Ha! I loved it.

They are on tour with KISS, who I am not really a huge fan of — they were a little before my time and I never really loved their music, but I heard that their shows were pretty fantastic, so I stayed for half of it (then left to beat the rush). I have to say…

They were pretty fantastic. Dare I say, even better showmen than Motley Crue? I only knew a couple songs, but they sounded great, and the show was really highly entertaining. Great music, amazing visuals, the costumes (and the BOOTS!) were excellent. They were full of amazing energy. I kind of loved them, too.

I stayed through Gene Simmons’ “The Demon” act, which I figured was the very essence of a KISS show. Blood-spitting complete, I got out of there, totally pleased with my entire experience.

Big thanks to my friend Steve, devout metal-head and the guy who convinced that it would be totally worth my time. He was totally right! He is now recruiting me to convince his wife that she would enjoy a KISS show… I think that might be a hard sell. Although I’d highly recommend it!

Ahhhh. Now my metal-loving 1987-self is finally at peace. I’ve seen the ultimate bad boys of rock (although really, there are so many to choose from), survived, thoroughly enjoyed it, and now if one of them dies from heart failure from years of drug abuse, then I can at least say I saw them when they still put on a pretty good show.

Rock on, Motley Crue and KISS. Rock on.

And now, back to petting the cat, gardening, and reading while sipping my homemade lemon verbena tea.







the weekend in pictures

Had a lovely weekend.

Went to the fair.

Went on a roller coaster (just because).Went to the zoo with a young friend.We tried on different personalities. 

Crept up on a sleeping snow leopard.

Talked Buddhism with a silverback gorilla.

In addition, I ushered at the local theater and watched a ballet, and had a wonderful day at home as well. I packed a lot in, but it was fun the entire time. Well, except for the migraine after the zoo. But I blame that on hormones and the sun.


So many good things! This is quite a streak. I haven’t had this much fun planned in YEARS.

Slumber party with seven-year-old on Friday. Cuteness overload.

Saturday afternoon, my brother, his fiancee, and their 10-month old Pudelpointer, Miller, arrived. We had took the dog for a walk, had stew and fresh bread, watched a movie, stayed up late.

Today Miller woke us up early. We had cinnamon rolls, went to some garage sales, they went wine-tasting and took the dog for a run while I had a volunteer meeting, then we all went out to dinner in town and then home for speed Scrabble, Samoa ice cream and some Glee-viewing. Stayed up too late.

Tomorrow we are going to meander up to Guerneville, stopping in Petaluma to go to the Seed Bank, to the house they are renting on the Russian River. Hot tub overlooking the river, cooking with my brother. Probably staying up too late.

Tuesday I come back home, get myself rested and go to another volunteer meeting, and GO TO BED EARLY.

Then I work for two days.

Then my mother arrives for four+ days.

Then I work. Then I go cross-country skiing on the weekend.

Then my best friend arrives.

Then I go to Holland.

What? Whose life is this? Who is this person with family, friends, fun activities, energy, happy feelings? Whoever she is, whosever life she’s stolen, I think she should keep it. This life is pretty amazing. I’m feeling absolutely overwhelmed with gratitude, happiness, fun, love, and contentment.

Life, my friends, is good.

the Fun Plan

I’m continuing to feel a little bit better every day. The cough is STILL here (dammit) but I’m feeling more alert (at times). I have more energy but I’m still really really tired and sleep like the dead, falling asleep within minutes of turning out the light. I still can’t read more than a page or two a night. I get hit with all the emotions possible, at various times during the day, but I try to observe them, be kind to myself, and then move on with the day, sometimes carrying an emotion like a little baby if it needs some attention, sometimes telling the emotion that I’ve noticed it, and now it can please take another nap and go away for awhile (I try to notice ALL the emotions, but the unhelpful ones I try not to give too much time to).

I thought, as a guideline, it would be fun to give myself a plan for the next few weeks and months. It’s a Fun Plan. You might like to do it with me. It’s an easy 3-stepper.

  1. Say yes to nearly everything. However: VERY IMPORTANT — include the caveat that I might have to back out for various reasons later. Such as: I need to go home and eat ice cream all by myself. What? That’s a valid reason. I’m already doing this one. “Yes! I’ll go to all these holiday parties! …. Um, actually I just want to go home and fiddle around with art stuff. Sorry!”
  2. Be ridiculously kind and forgiving of myself. Especially if I pull a stunt like backing out of multiple holiday parties which I’ve enthusiastically said “Yes!” to.
  3. Follow the joy. This one goes nicely with the other two. Sometimes joy shifts and moves around. Sometimes joy is sitting on the couch with a kitty and watching Battlestar Galactica. Sometimes joy is ditching plans (does anyone else get joy from this? I love changing plans). Sometimes joy is pushing myself to get dressed up and go out, because you never know what the evening might hold. Sometimes joy is hiding from my crazy neighbors and watching with glee as they try to find someone else to infect with their crazy. (I’m just saying…)

In addition, an important sub-plan is to ignore anyone who decides to pass judgement on me for following any aspect of this plan (not that anyone has, but they *might* — in which case they will be ignored). I can eat ice cream all day if I want to, so there. (ignoring this judge-y person also applies when the judge-y person is oneself; see Guideline #2)

I’m feeling more like myself, but I’m still very tired and aware that I need to keep taking care of myself. The Fun Plan will keep me open to possibilities and also open to the times when I might need to just go home and get back into bed. I’ve said yes to nearly everything that’s been suggested to me recently, and I’ve only backed out of two things (so far). And I’ve had a great time. And then I go home and go straight to bed.